As the snow falls here in Edmonton, I think back on the summer. And with those thoughts come one of my earliest encounters with Mange Personified. Her fight with a crackwhore.
Shortly after we moved in, we realized that our new apartment had some faults. Such as Mange. And, after a few weeks, our neighbour across the hall. By and I left our house one morning, and the neighbour's door was open. In the hallway sat a scrawny girl putting on her boots, looking very strung out. We left and thought no more of it. We came back to get something, so I ran back to the building. The scrawny crackwhore was storming out of the building as I unlocked the door, and I could hear screeching from inside. It was Mange, screaming at the crackwhore.
Life is not worth living until Mange comes running down the stairs towards you in jammie pants (natch), a camisole with no bra. My life is now richer for this experience. Jealous? You should be.
Mange was screaming "f*ck you" to the crackwhore, who was screaming "no, f*ck YOU!" and that exchange of brilliance went on as the crackwhore ran down the alley. Rat Tail the Landlord and his roommate stood in the hall and they seemed proud of Mange.
We call the roommate "The Slave", since Rat Tail does nothing around here. The Slave shovels, mops the halls, handles all complaints and even walks Rat Tail's asthmatic chihuahua Arnie.
I went into our place to get something and The Slave showed up at the door. He said that Mange won't let anyone bad in this building (ha!) and will stand up to anyone doing anything illegal in this place (ha! ha!). The Slave said the crackwhore was a "friend" of the new neighbour, and was strung out on drugs. Did he not know that he was strung out most of the time, too? The smell of weed is pungent from their apartment. Now the new neighbour was being kicked out because he works in the oil patch, would not have been here a lot, and when he is here he brings crackwhores home.
Mange was just coming back to the building from chasing the crackwhore down the alley as I left. She was still raving and cursing as the door closed. Mange was Rat Tail and The Slave's hero. I, on the other hand, just witnessed a crackwhore fight.
Would anyone like to help us move?
Normally Yours,
xoxoSallyS
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4 comments:
One thing Drunk Neighbour has taught me is that the antics can be very amusing if you choose to see them as entertainment. Now, this is much easier if you only have to deal with it for part of the year, but it's something to consider. :)
I love self-righteous hicks!
Oh, there are so many self-righteous hick tales. Mostly from years of riding the bus.
I will not help you move. You might end up with normal neighbours and fewer stories like this.
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