What the...?

I think I was ogled the other night.

We ordered pizza (I was a lazy wife that day), and I think I was ogled by the pizza guy. I am not bragging, I am just stunned by it. It was blatant and it made me feel squicky.

I thought I heard a faint knock, so I looked out the peep hole to see this dumb-looking kid in his early 20's staring up at the ceiling, mouth agape. I opened the door wearing my at-home attire - a grubby over-sized t-shirt, sweat pants and fluffy slippers. The kid had this moony grin on his face and creeped me out. As he pulled the pizza out of his bag, he was blatantly staring at my chest. At first, I thought he was trying to figure out the worn out lettering on the front of my shirt, but no. He was ogling. Blech. A few years ago, I would have been slightly flattered, but that night, I felt gross.

A couple years back, I ordered Chinese food one night. The delivery guy thought it was time to tell jokes while I paid him, so he told me this gem.

Q: Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?
A: He wanted a tight seal.

The door was quickly shut on Shecky.

The moral of this tale? Quit ordering delivery and make your own damn food.

Peversely Yours,
xoxoSallyS