It's official. I'm old.

I have always been a lover of pop culture. I read the gossip blogs and watch ET Canada and TMZ. I know who is in what movie, even though I may never see that movie. I know who is with who, who is having babies, who has the hottest album or song. I love pop culture. I think I should have been an entertainment reporter like I wanted, before some snooty professor at my j-school said I needed to "pay my dues" in news. News wore me down and out of journalism.

But recently, I have realized I am old.

OMFG!

We saw Twilight last night. And OMG, if I was 16, I would have totally swooned over Edward and his swarthy stares. I would have yearned to be Bella. Instead, my eyes spent the majority of the movie rolled. Far too many sighs of confusion and declarations of "I don't know". Way too much teenaged-angst. I couldn't swoon if Edward himself had swept up on my neck.

And Byron, ever the realist, pointed out that vampires don't have blood. Ergo, they would be incapable of an erection. So what are they all hot and bothered for?

But it's not just Twilight. Where did the Jonas Brothers come from? What did we do wrong to have Disney foist Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez upon us? And where did they come from? All of a sudden last summer, I saw these underaged titmice on Perez in skimpy outfits and too much makeup.

I was watching MuchMusic's Hotties of 2008 the other day, and could not figure out why some people were hot. Byron and I were like two cooty old parents on the couch scoffing at people who were supposedly hot.

God, I feel so old. And confused. Confused by 15 year-old titmice. Someone - get me some metamucil.

Agedly Yours,
xoxoSallyS