Summertime and the living is... shitty

It's been a delightful summer. It's been warm, but not blistering; sunny with a few days of rain. My tomatoes are coming in lovely, and I even have some peppers. The wedding plans are falling into place and all is well.

Except for seagulls.

I blogged about them a couple weeks ago when I was shat upon on my way to work. But my battle with the gulls has gone further. I want to kill them. I'm talking about bread soaked with bleach, slingshots to the face, stomping on their eggs killing. I have had it with these frigging seagulls!

Our apartment is on a hill, and next door are condos. Because of said hill, our apartment windows are directly across from the roof of the condos, where there are seagull nests. I am convinced there are more than one. All day long, we are forced to listen to the caws, the squawks and screeches of seagulls. It can be very loud in our apartment, so loud that I can't hear Byron talking to me. At night, it's warm so we have our bedroom window open. But it is always closed around 5 am when we are woken up with another day of squawks.

This morning, I stopped at our car in the back parking lot to get some shoes, and the noise of the gulls was deafening. I feared another splat of shit, and I saw hoards of them circling.

The other day, when Byron was sleeping all day for his night shift, I pitied him sleeping in a stuffy apartment while the gulls hollered outside. I called Animal Control to see who I can talk to to get the nests off the roof across the alley from our bedroom window. The man on the line started laughing at me. It's apparently breeding season and it's against the law to disturb nests. He said, and I quote: "you're outta luck." Dammit! How much longer does this go on!?!?

Not only is it a battle at home, but on the streets. My office is on the top floor so we see gulls circling and hear them screaming all day. The entrance to our building is white with shit. The streets look candy-coated with bird poop. Every car has a splatter of shit. It's heinous.

I don't remember this last summer. Of course, last summer, Byron and I just moved in together and got engaged so my mind was pre-occupied and gulls were the last thing I thought about. I have never been so anxious for the end of summer.

If you happen to see a pile of dead birds next to a bleach-smelling bag of bread, don't look at me. That's all I'm saying.

Annoyingly Yours,
xoxoSallyt