Worst Workout EVER

I signed up for an exercise class through work called "Abs and Butts". It was inexpensive, and I thought it might be a harmless way to get an extra work out. I went to the first class last week, and it was fine. I had never been to an exercise class before, and it was alright. Me and the only other chubby girl in class hid in the back of the gazebo it was held in. I kept up with everyone else and sweaty like a hen hauling wood. I felt rejuvenated and strong after the class. I was also sore as hell for three days after.

Today was class #2. Well, for me 1.5. When I got there with my co-worker/friend Kirsten, they had started stretching on the lawn. We have had rain here for two days, so the lawn was soggy. The instructor said the gymnasium was being renovated and said the lawn would be great. Now, the lawn is in front of a building filled with colleagues, whose offices look down on the lawn. At one point, we were all on our backs, with our feet facing the building. The instructor had us fling our legs in the air and spread our legs as wide as possible. I was supremely uncomfortable.

My yoga mat is black, and it was sunny at lunch time, so my mat turned into a griddle. I could feel my arms getting sunburnt and I was sweating more than necessary. I scooted into the shade, which was on a hill! And because it was the shade, the ground was even soggier! I tried to do one exercise and started rolling down the hill. I got into a snit to end all snits and stormed out of the class. I did not pay that money to sit on wet ground and roll down a hill. I couldn't do any of the exercises properly. I came back to the office and emailed off a snotgram saying this was unacceptable.

Now, my yoga mat has bird shit on the bottom and is drying out in my cubicle. My cube, by the way, smells of worms.

I don't mind breaking a sweat, if it's for a good reason. Next week has to be better. Or I might snap my instructor in two.

Jane Fonda-ingly Yours,
xoxoSallyt