The Newly Wed and Nearly Dead

Like the new picture? It was taken on Saturday night after we came home from the opera. We saw Madame Butterfly, and it was amazing. There was one scene where tiny paper rose petals (or were they butterflies?) tinkling down on stage. It was brilliant, and we loved the performances.

Except I was sitting next to Typhoid Mary.

Victoria has that nasty nickname of "Home of The Newly Wed and Nearly Dead". Byron and I are almost newley wed, but we were outnumbered by the nearly dead on Saturday.

The woman I sat next to was at least in her seventies and had the worst cough I have ever heard. She would put a kleenex to her mouth and proceed to cough this deep, rough hack that shook my ribcage. Then she would reach into her coat pocket, which was on my thigh, and scratch around for a cough drop. I can handle the coughing and the scratching, but what she did next almost cost her her teeth.

She clacked and sucked and made such a racket with her cough drop. You know that noise... the loud suck, the clatter against the teeth, another big suck and the circle continues. Next to the sound of someone barfing, that noise drives me crazy! I wanted to smack her in the dentures.

I would guess that more than half the audience was sick. There was always someone coughing or sneezing. At intermission, I swear it was like swimming in a sea of phlegm in the lobby with everyone coughing and snotting.

Byron and I wondered why someone would go to the opera if they were sick? Then Byron made a good point... everyone is old and probably almost always sick. Who would go to the opera if all the Nearly Deads stayed home sick?

It was certainly annoying, but we'll still go to the next opera in April. And hope people are more forgiving when we're old and phlegming up a storm.

Sickeningly Yours,
xoxoSallyt