Friday, November 20, 2009

Toodle-ooo

Oprah is leaving her show in 2011. And not a moment too soon, if you ask me. I loathe Oprah. She’s number one on my Celebrity Assassination List. Right before Nicolas Cage and Celine Dion.


I hate Oprah’s sense of self and how she thinks that what she thinks is what everyone else should think. That stupid “Oprah’s Favourite Things” show? Silly. Sure, she can spend $400 on a bath robe. The rest of us schlumps have to make do with our paltry $40 robes. When Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s book “Love in the Time of Cholera” was on her book list, that’s when I loaded my rifle. How dare she call him Gabby? Should we call her “Opie” or “Ra-Ra”? No, because she’d eat us alive, like she did recently with those corn dogs in Texas. And what is she doing eating corn dogs, anyway? Didn’t she not just 20 years haul a wagon’s worth of her fat onstage to celebrate her weight loss? And she unleashed Dr. Phil on the masses. For that alone she should burn in hell. Is Dr. Oz her fault, too? Come to think of it, isn't Opie responsible for the scourge that is Rachael Ray? Damn her!


I can’t go on about the many ways Oprah is a drain on our culture. Mostly because I refused to watch Oprah years ago. It was around the time she did “Beloved” and she screamed, with out-stretched arms, “I AM the beloved!!!”


So to Oprah I say this: Don’t let the door his you on the way out.

Talk Showingly Yours,

xoxoSallyS

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Finally, someone else who feels the same way about Oprahhahaha as I do. I am fed up with her deciding for everyone else what we should be reading, watching , wearing, eating, singing, praising....I'll stop now. How refreshing the air waves will be when she no longer drains the life force out of them.

Dean Sanderson said...

it will be interesting to see if the network Oprah is leaving will be able to find anyone to fill her shoes

Anonymous said...

Oprah is a self righteous cow and I'm glad to see her go.
Jane