Midgets Everywhere

I am surrounded by midgets! In my apartment building, to be specific. I just came in from a walk, and I ran into a man from down the hall who is the size of a chihuahua. I felt massive next to the diminutive man. Sadly, he was wearing grey homemade slippers that on a person of normal height would have grazed the ankles. But these slippers we pretty much knee socks.

He the harmless in my building. I have a vendetta with the next one, who will from here on be known as Midgety Bastard.

Midgety Bastard is my neighbour. My bedroom is right next to his living room. My headboard is rigth next to his stereo system. You do the math. Midegty Bastard has been keeping me up at night for months now with his bang-bang-bang video games and tv. I can hear him talk on the phone. Many times I have been woken to the sound effects of some tacky video game. I bang on the walls, but it makes no difference. I do have something up my sleeve that will make a difference.

I've talked to my landlord about Midgety Bastard, and she's had lots of complaints from other neighbours about him. She told me if he gets one more complaint, he's evicted. I was woken up this morning at 4am by the dulcet tones of another video game. The only thing that got me back to sleep was knowing with one word, Midgety Bastard is evicted. I'm giving that word tomorrow.

Many nights, I have laid in bed, listening to his noise, fantasizing about knocking on his door and knocking him out. I have a speech made up in my head and everything. But I'm afraid I'll knock his teeth out when I lay eyes on his tiny, gimpy frame.

I swear, when he does get evicted, I will dance in the hallways! I will sing for joy! I will get a good night's sleep!

At least I don't have to hear him have sex. Ewwwww! Midget sex.

Bon Soir,
xoxoSallyt