WTF

I've been terribly sporadic in my posts lately. I have loads on my mind, yet I am lacking the desire to write them out just yet.

It's been a serious WTF week. I think Tuesday may have been the saddest day of my life.

Two people, count that, two people from work died that day. Both from cancer. One woman worked in my office and we took the bus together sometimes. She was diagnosed with breast cancer the same time my father was diagnosed with cancer. She seemed to be on the mend, but she died Tuesday. It was a shock to the entire office, and the mood was sad for the rest of the week. We had a memorial service for her at work today. And as we prayed and sang and spoke of her, it felt so surreal to me. But it was touching, nonetheless. She was 34.

I am scared of breast cancer. Petrified. I take good care of my girls, doing the monthly check and everything. They are my girls - I love them! But breast cancer, to me, is a real and scary thought. Nothing is scarier to me than finding a lump... which I have found before. So when I hear about women not much older than me getting, let alone dying of breast cancer, fear strikes my very core.

And my only work pal quit on Tuesday. I have pals at work, but none that I can count on to go to lunch with, or coffee breaks with, or clear my head with like him. And he quit. Poof - gone in a matter of minutes. Not even 2 weeks notice so I can wean myself off his company. I cried the whole time he drove me home. He says we'll still hang out, but it won't be the same. It's been so sad without him at work this week. So quiet.

It's cold here, and I'm tired and I just want to hibernate this weekend. Pretend I didn't know dead people, pretend good friends haven't left, pretend all is well for now.

In the meantime, I will try really hard not to open any wine bottles. The last thing I need is to become a wino. Winos are smelly.

xoxoSally