Imagine My Horror

I am not a joiner. Let me clear that up right now. I don't join groups, or teams and I never have. It doesn't make me anti-social, I just loathe the idea of a company softball team, or a club of any sort. I have dabbled in that in the past, to tragic results. In fact, I joined a Scrabble club in Yellowknife once. I love the game, there was a club, I thought hey- this might be fun. Until I went to one "meeting" and some geek with ear hair and visible ear wax was the only one there. We played a couple games, he asked me how competitve I was with the game (not at all... I prefer the game with a few drinks, a joint and a few good friends), and then he re-arranged my letters to make better words. To thwart him, and to ensure I was never invited back, I blocked all the triple word score squares. Indeed, I was never asked back.

So imagine my horror with Corporate Challenge. I am the organizer of this for my work. In a nutshell, Corporate Challenge is when dozens of companies enter dozens of sports. This project has me stumped. I don't give a flying fig about these sports, yet I have to entice people to play. I have to make sure there is spirit and enthusiasm, yet I have none.

I went to a meeting last week, and it hit me why I loathe this project. Everyone there was the grown-up version of the people I loathed in high school. See, I hated high school. I hardly went, I spent my time smoking on the side of the building, or at the malls. I didn't join a team, a club or committee. I kept myself at arms-length from everyone and I liked it that way. The kids who joined everything and brimmed with excitement over sports and cheered for seemingly nothing annoyed me. And they still do, as 30 year olds. The room was full of the kind of people I loathed in 1992. The organizer said the word basketball, and there was a roar of cheers. She said the word games and there was whooping. The crowd clapped and cheered and hurrayed everything. Why? What is to cheer about? Why all the whooping? It boggled me, not to mention bothered me.

In a couple weeks, it's the kickoff. I have to go to a luncheon where there will undoubtedly be cheering galore. The opening ceremonies barbecue is a couple days later, and it'll be a repeat performace. At least at the barbecue, there is a beer garden, but too little too late.

Don't get me wrong, I love camraderie and carousing. I just don't like organized sports. Or maybe I don't like the people associated with organized sports who act like it's 1992 and we're back at Prince Andrew High. At least now, I don't smoke and no one is in danger of having a lit cigarette thrown their way. And for the record, I apologize to anyone I may have hit. I've grown up a lot in the time since.

Begrudgingly Yours,
xoxoSallyt